Communicating with Parents About Behavior

You can consider this blog Part 2 from my previous blog on color changes.  You may want to go back and read that one before reading this.  

Here’s how I communicate with parents about their child’s daily behavior.  At the end of the day, students get to have “privilege time” (I also have a privilege time blog you can check out to see how it works in more detail).  Students are allowed an extra 15 minutes at the end of the day to have some free time, if they have earned it.  A color change results in a loss of privilege time where the student is responsible for filling out a “Changing Your Behavior” sheet.  This sheet asks questions about why the student changed his/her color, what the child should’ve done, and what they will do next time.

This sheet is sent home in their daily folders so parents have a detailed explanation of the infraction that occurred.  This eliminates extra phone calls or emails from parents wanting to know why their child was in trouble (and frees you up for more grading... yay).  It’s also a great way for the student to reflect on their behavior, and plan ways to change it.

To download some resources on how to communicate students' behavior with parents, click here.

Forty-Niner Day

Last Friday, we had our annual California 49er Day celebration with both 4th grade classes. Forty-Niner day celebrates the historic event in the 1840's when the discovery of gold sent people from all over the world to California.  We spent the entire day with the students doing activities that the 49ers would’ve done.

In the morning, we spent time playing the Miner-Merchant game.  Half of the 4th grade students were miners and the other half were merchants.  The job of the merchants was to create a storefront (they did this for homework before 49er day) and sell items to the miners that they would need to be successful in “striking it rich.”  Some of the items were a pick, shovel, gold pan, pillow, blanket, tent, etc.  The merchants worked in pairs to come up with items they wanted to sell and price those items, remembering they are in competition with other merchants selling their goods.

The miners were given a set amount of money, given a list of items they should purchase, then shopped for their items.  Miners were told to use smart shopping strategies like price comparing from all the merchants before making purchases.

At the end of the game, the merchants who made the most money won the game and the miner who purchased the greatest amount of goods won also.  Here are some photographs of the Miner-Merchant game.

After distinguishing the winners of the game, the students rotated through a series of 8 activity booths:
1. Line Dancing
2. Photo next to a pony
3. Craft - create a necklace
4. Gold Panning
5. Cow Roping
6. Relay Races
7. Sling Shots
8. Making Beef Jerkey

They spent about 12-15 minutes at each activity booth. When the day was over, the students received goody bags and a frame with their picture next to the pony.  It was a great day.  Luckily we had many parent volunteers who stayed for the entire day to help!

 

Feelin' A Little Antsy

Here’s a fun bulletin board I leave up all year ‘round.  It’s titled “Feelin’ a Little Antsy.”  Then underneath I have some cute ants holding up a poster that lists activities the students can complete if they’ve finished their work early. 

Research Groups

I like to have my students complete cooperative learning activities.  One activity the students LOVE is when I break them into research groups. Click here to read how students work in the groups, what project they completed, and how can use these in your classroom!

Join the Community!

I am so excited to announce the launch of The Resourceful Teacher’s Community.  The community offers a place for teachers to share ideas and collaborate with other teachers around the world.  You could think of it as Facebook for teachers!

Click here to join the community and start sharing today.

Guest Blogger Contest

I am going to start a monthly blogging contest.  Here’s how it will work.  On my website I have a section set up for writers who wish to become guest bloggers on The Resourceful Teacher.
Each blog will be published pending approval.  Each month I will choose a “Guest Blogger of the Month” whose photo or button will be featured on my main page.  It’s not too late to get your submissions in before I choose the “Guest Blogger of the Month” for May.
Click here to submit your blog.
Also, if you have not joined our community, click here!

Rotations

This is one of my longer blogs, but trust me, it’s worth the read!

Here’s a fun idea for getting a lot of work done in a short amount of time.  Before I continue, I want to add a little disclaimer about myself as a teacher.  I am not a give-out-a-worksheet-to-fill-time kind of teacher.  I will only have students complete a worksheet if it’s pertinent to their learning.  But there are days when the kids do have a lot of worksheets to complete.  This can take a lot time because you’re waiting around for kids to finish their work before moving to the next subject.  So here’s what I like to do.

In the morning I will teach the concepts the students will be working with, provide examples, then have the students set aside their worksheets for later.  For example, I’ll teach Math, English, and Spelling but the kids won’t do the independent practice until rotation time.  Then it’s time to set up for rotations.

My desks are configured in groups of 4, so it is conducive to easy, collaborative learning (see photo).  At each group of desks (there are 6), I set up a rotation.  The rotations (or groups of desks) are numbered 1-6.  I assign an activity for each rotation. Then I write the name of the activity on the board under the rotation number so that the kids know what they’re doing at each station.  For example, here’s what I might have at all 6 rotations.

• Rotation 1 - Math Worksheet
• Rotation 2 - Math Center with Clocks
• Rotation 3 - English Worksheet
• Rotation 4 - English Centers with Nouns & Pronouns
• Rotation 5 - Finish Daily Journal & Check for Accuracy
• Rotation 6 - Silent Read

The kids start at the rotation they are already sitting at.  Depending on the activities, I usually give about 10 - 12 minutes at each rotation.  I set a timer that has a bell.  When the bell rings, the students know to gather their items, stand up, push in their chair, and stand by their desk.  Then I dismiss them to the next rotation.  The activity STAYS at the rotations, and the kids get up and move with their group.  So the students sitting at rotation 1 will move to rotation 2, rotation 2 moves to rotation 3, and so on until the students have rotated through all 6 stations.

I like to indicate on the board which rotations are group work, and which are independent. I also add where I want papers turned in when they are finished with the assignment.  

Handling Angry Parents

Have you ever had a parent storm into your classroom without an appointment and demand that you meet with them right away, meanwhile your students are waiting outside the classroom unsupervised, peering in the window wondering why they can’t come in from snack? 

We’ve all been in some kind of situation like this, I’m sure.  It’s frustrating.  It’s infuriating.  And it makes you want to avoid this parent for the rest of the year!  But you can’t.  So here’s some things I’ve learned about dealing with angry parents.

On the first day of school set up your expectations of how parents should meet with you.  I always tell my parents that bombarding me without expecting a meeting will never result in the outcome either of us will like.  When I’m prepared for a meeting, my mind is cleared of my to-do list, I’m not planning for tomorrow’s math lesson, and I am present and focused on the parent who wants to meet without any distractions.  

Another thing to consider is many parents just want to vent to you.  They are upset about something that has to do with their precious child, and they want you to listen.  Sometimes just by listening to an angry parent and nodding along (even when you’d rather be grading papers or taking down a bulletin board), can extinguish a heated situation like pouring water on a blazing fire.  Listen, then acknowledge their feelings, and they will leave happy.  

Let me give you an example.  I had a parent who was upset about a student in the other class.  Apparently their precious angel was not invited to a birthday party, and after days of tears the parent wanted to talk to me about it.  So she made an appointment (yay), and she talked for about 30 minutes about how upset her child was and how left out she felt.  When the mom was done talking, all I had to say was, “That can be so upsetting.  I’m so sorry your child felt hurt.”  And that was it!  She didn’t demand that I talk to the other teacher and get it resolved.  She didn’t want me to scold the student who left out her daughter.  She just wanted me to listen and give some affirmation of her feelings.   This won’t help every single time an angry parent wants to meet with you, but it’s worth a shot!  Try that approach first.  Then if the parent wants more, provide a plan of action to help solve the problem.

Exciting News!

I have some exciting news to share (it may not be too exciting for you, but I sure am excited about it).  I’m writing a book!  This will be the first book I’ve ever written.  My family has been telling me for YEARS that I need to write a book and now it’s finally the right time.

The book is a resource for teachers that includes a compilation of graphic organizers along with descriptions, project ideas, and samples.  I will be self-publishing the book and hope to have it print-ready by the end of April.  

Here's where I am in the process:  My husband has just about finished designing the book cover.  I have all my graphic organizers ready to be put in the book.  Right now I'm working on content.  I'm developing instructions, writing descriptions, and sifting through student work samples.

Does anyone have any advice or tips that might help me either in my writing or publishing stages?  I’ll take any and all info I can get!

Teachers "Friending" Students on Facebook

One of the newest trends I’ve been seeing in schools is the move toward becoming paperless or “green.”  In doing so, schools are relying on the use of the internet to communicate with parents and students.

So where does Facebook play a role in this?  Or rather, HOW should Facebook play a role?  In my research, I’ve noticed much discussion about the pros and cons of teachers “friending” students on Facebook.  

 There are many negatives associated with this.  According to Education Week, “Schools in New York City and Florida have disciplined teachers for Facebook activity.”  There have been reports of teachers who were fired due to inappropriate postings by the teacher and these comments were viewed by some of the students.  Many argue that this kind of behavior oversteps boundaries that should be set by teachers.  Others believe that the reason people use Facebook is to post personal information about yourself such as relationship status and interests, and sharing this knowledge with students is inappropriate. Many school boards across the nation are attempting to set guidelines between this kind of interaction in a way that does not violate teachers’ First Amendment rights.

On the opposite side of the argument, there is talk that in the Philidelphia school district, teachers are encouraged to create Facebook accounts strictly for the purpose of informing students and parents about school-related events, topics, and issues.  One could argue that insodoing, it has the potential to give teachers an avenue to monitor cyber-bullying.

There is one aspect to this topic that I’ve heard many teachers agree on.  Adding students as friends on a personal account is unacceptable, but if teachers create a professional page that is not used socially or for the purpose of sharing personal information, then it can be a great resource to facilitate communication between students and parents. 

Facebook can be used as a tool for teachers and has the potential of being a valuable resource... if used in the right way.  So what is the “right” way.  Right now it looks as if each school district is adopting their own policies, if they haven’t done so already. 

Does your school district have a policy in place for this issue?  I’d love to hear from other teachers about what’s going on in their schools.

The Conflicted Student

One of my teacher friends shared a story with me today that saddened my heart.  She has a student who has a pretty rough home environment.  His parents are divorced and part of his difficulty stems from the fact that he is continually pitted in the middle of his parents and is never allowed to voice his opinion or concerns.  Today he informed the teacher that he had something he really wanted to share with her, but his mom said he couldn’t.  So without too much prodding, the teacher asked if someone was hurting him, if he was hurting someone else, or if the student was hurting himself.  He replied that it was nothing of that nature, but it was about the teacher herself.  

My friend then encouraged the student that he should do what he feels is right, but if he doesn’t want to go against his mother’s word, then it would be best if he kept the information to himself.  The poor boy couldn’t resist telling, and he said, “My mom doesn’t like you.”  

Now of course there’s going to be times when a parent isn’t going to like and/or agree with the way teachers do things, I understand all that.   Luckily the boy felt comfortable telling the teacher, and she encouraged him to continue to chat with her about this in the future if he gets upset about it again. But I was just so saddened that the mom put her child in the middle of yet another relationship.

Anyone else ever had a similar experience like this or know someone who has?  

Parent Communication

Many teachers know that to one of the keys to successful teaching is parent communication.  There are many ways we can communicate with parents: conferences, phone calls, emails, and/or notes sent home.  The easiest way for me to communicate with parents on a consistent basis is by sending notes home.

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Usually, when I want to communicate something to parents I have a form I’ve filled out and sent home.  I have created forms for just about everything!  Here are some forms I use to communicate with parents.  You can download the forms by clicking on the link.

1. Daily Behavior - Whether it’s good or bad, I like parents to know how well their child did in my class today.  

2. Major Incidents - When students have a bad day or if another student involved your student in something serious, there’s a form for that.

3. Thinking About Behavior Sheet - I have students fill out this form at the end of the day if they didn’t have good behavior.  It’s a chance for the student to reflect on his/her behavior, recognize what he/she did wrong, and make plans to change it in the future.  

4. Absences - When your student is absent and you want to communicate with the parent what he/she missed that day, download this form.

5. Tardies - If your student has had a large number of tardies, fill out this form and send it home.

6. Missing Assignments - Any missing assignments that you want parents to know about?

7. Missing Supplies - If your student is missing any classroom supplies, fill out the form and send it home with a due date on it.

8. Redo Assignment at Home - If you want your student to redo an assignment at home that they did poorly on in class, download this form.

9.  Redo Assignment in Class - If you had your student redo an assignment in class and want to communicate with the parents that you let their child have a 2nd chance, grab this form.

The Enabling Parent Part 2

Here’s how I responded to the Nancy the Enabler.  I first took a deep breath.  Ok, I took about 5 deep breaths, and prayed a short prayer called, “Lord help me not strangle this woman.”  Then I told her in the calmest voice I could muster, “Your child needs to remember to get his work done without my prodding.  He had the test on his desk all day as a reminder that it needed to be completed.”  

She didn’t like that answer.  So she asked again if I would reconsider.  Well, since you asked again a second time, I guess I’ll change my answer (I hope you caught the sarcasm).  So I elaborated, “I wouldn’t feel right about giving him more time to complete his test since he had it on his desk all day, and that’s plenty of time to finish his test.”

She still didn’t like my answer and asked again if I would reconsider since her son didn’t know when his free time was, and I didn’t give him a reminder. I replied, “So, you’re saying you would’ve liked for me to stop what I was doing and say in front of the class, ‘Now, *student’s name* remember that this is your free time and we agreed that you would work on your test during your free time,’” I kept explaining, “I didn’t remind him because I didn’t need to.  He’s in 4th grade and needs to learn to be responsible for completing his work in a timely manner. He’s depending on me to remind him to complete his work, and we need to break that habit.”

And guess what: she still didn’t like my answer.  So finally I said, “Look, I’m not trying to be harsh.  I want your son to be prepared for 5th grade, and if I give him even more time to complete his test then he’s not going to be prepared next year. In 5th grade he won’t be allowed the entire day to finish his test as I allowed, let alone another day you’re asking me for.  Hopefully he will use this as a learning experience so it will help him the next time he needs to complete an assignment. I understand that you disagree, however I’m not going to change my mind.”

Then she just stood there and we exchanged an awkward silence.  Then she walked away.  And her son, who was listening the entire time, gave me a hug before leaving.  

That hug made it all worth dealing with her and I walked away with a small on my face.

Continue to part 3 to read my thoughts about the mom.

The Enabling Parent - Part 1

Don’t you just love how parents like to have important meetings at the spur of the moment? You know, like you’re prepared for anything and have all the answers without preparation for their questions? Well that’s what happened to me today.

Here’s a little back story before I tell you about the Enabling Mom.  One of my students didn’t finish his math assessment yesterday.  We took the assessment in the morning and he was the last student still working on his test, so I told him he could have the rest of the day to finish it during his free time.  Long story short, the kid didn’t finish his assessment because he chose to do “fun” things instead during his free time.  At the end of the day, I collected his test, graded it, and he received a 50%.  

Today as I was supposed to be watching the kids during after school dismissal, the mom (let’s refer to her as Nancy the Enabler) marches up to me wanting to have a long discussion about why I should allow her child to have extra time to finish his test.  I then proceeded to inform her that her son didn’t chose to finish his test during his free time.  Nancy was still very insistent that I allow her son the extra time since it was basically my fault for not reminding him.  Hold on! Here’s what I wanted to say in response, “You’re crazy, woman!  It’s because of your enabling that he’s become codependent. You remind him too much about what he needs to get done so he’s not learning responsibility.”

Of course that’s not what I really said... I do love my job and intent on keeping it.  Stay tuned for Part 2 of the Enabling Parent to see how I really responded.

Showing Grace - When NOT to Give a Consequence

I am a firm believer in consistency. Consistency with your students is fair and every one of your students knows what the rules are, and what the consequence is for breaking the rules.

Even though I’m consistent, there’s another aspect about giving consequences that I take into consideration every time.  Grace.  Some students need to be shown grace.  Let me give you an example of what I mean:

The other day I was in the staff room on my lunch break.  Another teacher walked in and informed me that three of my students were messing around in the bathroom by crawling under the stalls. 

Upon entering the classroom after lunch, I planned on speaking with these girls outside to get the full story of what happened.  Before I could approach them about our meeting, THEY CAME TO ME!  They wanted to talk with me outside. 

The girls came forward and said that they were playing around in the bathroom, and admitted they shouldn’t have been crawling under the stalls.  One of my students (who NEVER gets in trouble) was shaking like a leaf.  All three were on the verge of tears. 

I had two options.  Normally, in a situation like this, there’s a consequence.  The girls broke a rule and the consequence should be a color change.  My other option was that I could recognize these girls had come forward, admitted their mistake, and because of how scared they were, I knew it would never happen again.

I chose the latter option.  I wanted my students to see the positive in coming forward and admitting their mistake.  Here’s what I said to the girls, “Thank you so much for coming forward and telling me what happened.  I appreciate your honesty.  Normally, I would give out a color change in this kind of situation, but I know you girls have never done something like this before, and won’t ever do it again, so I will extend grace to you.” 

The poor little girl who was shaking burst out in tears, then the other two joined her in crying.  I hugged them all and told them, “Everyone makes mistakes, and usually there’s consequences.  We need to learn from our mistakes and make better decisions in the future.”

Yes, consistency is important, but I believe grace is equally as important.  Offering grace doesn’t mean that I’m allowing the poor behavior to continue.  By showing grace to these students, I showed them love and taught them a valuable lesson that might not have happened had I given them a color change. 

What are your thoughts on showing grace?  Has it been beneficial to you in your classroom?

Test-Taking Strategies for Students

We are nearing our standardized testing.  I don’t know about you, but many of my students get really stressed at testing time.  Here are a few tips I share with my kiddos to help ease test anxiety:

• Pray –  I work at a Christian school, so I encourage students to spend time talking to God and asking for Him to calm their nerves. 
• Practice Positive Self-Talk – Telling yourself “I can do this” and “I am smart” are ways to help boost confidence during test taking.
• Take calm, deep breaths
• Believe you can do well
• Be prepared – have all the supplies you need readily at your desk
• Don’t let yourself get distracted

Hopefully this will help your anxiety-filled students to perform at their best.  Happy standardized testing everyone!